Something I’ve been learning about myself lately is that when I create something, I feel confident and empowered – which is often a rare feeling for me. It is become less and less rare of a feeling since I realized how much I want graphic and web design to be a huge part of my life.
When I create something, I have that feeling of, “I created this and I am proud to have contributed a creation into the world”.
I truly believe that we are all creative beings. Ever since we were children, we have been hardwired to create things. Creating keeps us in touch with a true and real authentic part of ourselves, and we all do it all the time even if you don’t feel like you are a creative person. Everything around us is creative in a sense as well. Look around you… Everything you see was created by someone. That coffee mug, designed by somebody. Your laptop, designed by someone. Your water bottle was created by somebody. (Can you tell I am just looking at the first thing I see on my desk?) Creation is so powerful, and I see it happen in my life everyday and in other’s lives. When I am a part of the creation of something, no matter what it is, I feel empowered.
ME! I DID THAT! I contributed beauty to the world in someway!
When I took my teaching job, I thought it was the right thing to do. I should do it. I thought – That’s what my degree is in, this job would be pretty easy for me to get for the most part, and I already know a lot of the teachers here. But it was the most stressful period of my life. Something wasn’t aligning with me, something was off about working in a place that I obviously didn’t belong. But it was what I thought my life was going to be. I then realized, “this can’t be what my life is. There has to be more for me. There has to be some kind of job I absolutely love to do. I cannot come home crying everyday and waking up every morning dreading my life.”
-Cut to me going to counseling and quitting my job at the end of the school year.-
I live a lot of my life in the “shoulds” – powered and fueled by shame. I also live a lot of my life in shame. Because of that, I don’t trust myself to make the right decisions, so I try to follow the “right path.” Lately, I’ve been learning a crazy amount about myself and how I need to just go for what I want, work for what I want, adjust, be grateful, create, connect… so much learning has been occurring within myself that I cannot even list everything I’ve discovered! What I can say is that you have a lot more freedom than you think you do. So much so, that it’s actually unbelievable, which is why it’s so hard to believe in yourself. For me it was, anyway. One way to reach that freedom is to create, create, create.
I’ve been digging through the depths of my soul figuring out, what do I love? And really, it comes down to creation. Yes I love to brand, create websites, and create graphics. But really, creating anything makes me feel connected to myself and everything around me. When I create, I feel empowered. Especially when I create for others and bring joy through my creation. But also when I create just for myself out of pure will and for the sake of just creating something from nothing. I am no good at painting, but I still do it. I am awful at gardening (seriously why am I starting a garden I kill every plant), but I love the thought of creating and growing an organism from something so small.
How does making stuff free from us shame?
It gives you a sense of control within an uncontrollable feeling (shame).
There are no limitations in the world when you create. Shame binds us, so this feeling of complete freedom from limitations can lift you out of the state of shame.
Shame often comes from the judgement of self. Creating art is a judgement free zone. Every so often, make something out of the ordinary and don’t judge yourself on how you do it or the thoughts that come up while you are creating. Make this thing for you and for you only.
Create something out of the ordinary.
Create something you wouldn’t normally create. if you never paint, do it! If you never write for fun, write a short story! If you’ve never written a song, try it!
Notice how the creation is allowing you freedom.
Do not judge yourself when you create. You have no limitations on what you can do. Step out of your comfort zone and push yourself a little during the process. What comes up for you? No idea or thought should go dismissed, even if it seems negative. Negative thoughts can have a place but do not give the thoughts control. Let them float by like a cloud. Open your mind to your creative flow. Allowing this complete freedom can help free you from those shame shackles. For me, shame really is like a prison, making us feel certain ways and do certain things even if you don’t want to, and creating is the key to get out. (Cheese alert)
Create for the sake of freedom from your own shame and limitations.
Connect to yourself during the creation process.
What direction do you want go? Nobody will see or hear this certain creation if you don’t want them to, so you are free from the judgement of others.
Look at your creation when you feel it is complete. It may never feel complete, but that’s OKAY. Don’t feel like you even have to finish it.
This piece of art is a representation of you, your thoughts, and your emotions. Whether it be visual or auditory, it’s you! Isn’t that an empowering and freeing thought? You have control over what you make. Shame can feel out of control sometimes, so having this sense of control can often be very therapeutic.